Little shit

In a rare moment of sisterly compassion, I gave in to my 5-year-old half-brother's request to play "sword fight" with him. They were only plastic swords, so i figured "What the hell," right? Wrong.

Everything was going well. I was whooping his ass with my superior sword-fighting skills and added height advantage, when the little shit hit me in the mouth with his sword. What even.

Now my bottom lip is the size of a cherry tomato, and I'm scared to leave the house because people will see it and think I'm infected with a deadly disease or something. See if I play with you again, little 5-year-old.

Yes and Yes and Hmm and What

Please let me just explain all the awesome things in my life right now:

1) Hannah is home for a visit!

2) The Euros for my trip to Italy next month came in the mail!

3) I ran 3 miles today (and by "run," I actually mean walk/run).

4) I am graduating from college in 3 weeks.

5) I'm going dancing tonight with some of my favorite people.

6) It's gorgeous outside!

7) I have hardly any homework I have to do this weekend.

Happy Holi, Y'all! (. . .One week late)

Oops

I have not had much luck at work recently.

First of all, I broke the sink. I was watering lettuce and had turned on the cold water faucet to do so. However, when I tried to turn it off, the handle just kept turning and wouldn't stop the water. If anything, it came out faster. The lettuce overflowed, then the sink overflowed, then Angelo's almost overflowed (but not really). Finally, one of the dishwashers was clever enough to turn the water off at the wall. The sink handle was stripped, apparently, and now Angelo's has one less sink. Oops.

The second disaster I created involved a fire in the microwave. I took some pita pockets out of the freezer and stuck them in said microwave to defrost them. We were really busy at the time, so I continued about my work on the deli. About 30 seconds later, I started to smell something funny and looked around for the source of said smell. My eye happened to pass the microwave, and there were flames inside it! I was like, "OH MY GOD THE MICROWAVE'S ON FIRE! NOBODY PANIC!" and ran over to put out the fire. My boss runs around the corner at about the same time, holding a huge pitcher of water (which I assume was to quench the flames, not her thirst). Apparently, I had forgotten to take the twisty-tie off the pita pocket bag, and it must've had metal in the tie. Oops.

The most recent disaster was probably the most embarrassing. I was all alone on the deli one afternoon, so I had to take out the food to the tables as well as make it. I was carrying two large chicken salads with 4 oz. cups of ranch sitting on the sides of the plates. When I got to the table, one of the plates started to wobble. I set one of them down successfully, but the other one, not so much. The salad was fine, but the ranch dressing spilled: all over my pants, all in the man's drink, and also on his lap. I reacted with an, "Oh shit!" Then realizing I had just cursed at a customer, proceeded to apologize profusely for my lack of professionalism. Also, there were children in the dining room. . . Needless to say, I hid in the back of the restaurant until the man had left. Oops.

5 min in 4 hrs

I just love my Aunt Donna. 

Last week I was sick in bed for four days. This week Aunt Donna was sick with, we assume, the same virus/flu/touch of death that afflicted me. So today, to cheer her up, I went to her house. I got a cup of coffee, she got a cup of tea, and we sat on their gigantic couch together with the intent of watching Downton Abbey. The movie started, and literally five minutes into it, we paused it so I could go to the bathroom.

Four hours later the movie was still paused at the same spot. We had talked from 2:00 to 6:00, all the while staring at the TV screen that had a lady's dressing maid on it. She had terrible hair too. It looked like some sort of animal had died on top of her head. As much as I love movies, I think I'd take a good conversation over them any day--especially if the person I was talking to was Aunt Donna.

Countdown

SO! I am on my last Spring Break of undergrad. right now.

Our tickets for Italy have been purchased, and I will be on the plane when the rest of my graduating class is sitting in a stuffy auditorium waiting to receive their diplomas. I think I definitely have the upper hand in this situation.

Here is the villa we'll be staying at for part of our time in Italy.

http://www.molinomeocci.com/

 

IMSOPLZD

I was driving on the Interstate to school the other day, and I passed a car with a license plate that read:

MTHRSMLK

I was very confused by this but also incredibly pleased to have come across such a cultural gem. The driver of the car was a black woman who looked to be in her 50s or 60s. What an unexpected surprise!