An Exchange of Souls

I had a lovely talk with Vielka (Amy--my friend who's getting married this weekend--'s sister-in-law). Somehow the topic of how we act around certain/different types of people came up, and she asked me what I thought was the line between politeness and hypocrisy. How odd that she would ask that, since I've been thinking about it a lot lately. What I told her was this (in a more conversational and less pretentious way, of course):

I think the "line" is perhaps not a line at all, but merely an amorphous selection of how much of ourselves we choose to reveal to someone. The selection depends on how much we're willing to sacrifice. You can choose to say whatever you want to someone, but you have to be willing to accept the consequences. You can say nice things to people --- tell them what they want to hear, or perhaps only a half-truth, even though your heart and soul may not be in total agreement with the words you just said --- and people will like you for it. By doing this, you keep the peace. However, they don't get to know the real you that way. Would their opinion or view of you change if you told them exactly what you felt--in pure, unadulterated, unedited honesty?

The element of sacrifice comes into play when you stop hiding the parts of yourself that you previously did not reveal. When you choose to say "no" instead of the expected or polite "yes," you run the risk of hurting the other person's feelings or defying their sense of comfortableness with you. The balance of harmony between the two of you tips. The outcome of that imbalance depends on not one, but the both of you, and is perhaps, impossible to predict.

To some level I agree with Jonathan Safran Foer's book, Everything is Illuminated, where he says that Brod realized she could never be honest and happy at the same time. It's a sobering thought, and it's really quite sad that we have to make the choice between the two at all.

"Pursuit of Happiness" by Kid Cudi feat. Ratatat