In a rare moment of sisterly compassion, I gave in to my 5-year-old half-brother's request to play "sword fight" with him. They were only plastic swords, so i figured "What the hell," right? Wrong.
Everything was going well. I was whooping his ass with my superior sword-fighting skills and added height advantage, when the little shit hit me in the mouth with his sword. What even.
Now my bottom lip is the size of a cherry tomato, and I'm scared to leave the house because people will see it and think I'm infected with a deadly disease or something. See if I play with you again, little 5-year-old.
