Damn

I spent the entire weekend not doing a bit of homework because there's 8 inches of snow on the ground, and today I find out that school is NOT canceled tomorrow. Damn it.

"No Children" by the Mountain Goats (The most hateful song I could think of)

Doppelgangerzzzzz

Oh hey, doppelganger week on Facebook. Mine's Kate Winslet.

(This is me.)

Snowed In

I guess North Carolina saves up all its snow for 10 years, then dumps it from the sky all in one night. Last week there was a day I could wear short sleeves. This weekend, there's 8 inches of snow on the ground. AND I'm dog-sitting for a friend, so I've been unable to go home.  Food consists of oatmeal, pancakes, and coffee made with paper towels because I forgot to bring filters. What am I supposed to use when I run out of paper towels?

The dog I'm watching is named Melo, and she's an English Mastiff. Melo is huge and reminds me of a full-grown lion. . . except that she's a dog.Today when I let her out to go to the bathroom, she ran around in the snow with her mouth open like a bulldozer, trying to eat as much white, fluffy stuff as possible. I almost didn't need to shovel the driveway. It was so funny to watch her.

Also, here are some pictures of our new cat, Henry. I wasn't able to get any before now.

In This Moment

  Sometimes I'm reckless like live wire

Sometimes I'm calm and smooth as glass

Contradictions live inside me

The A-word

I learned a new word in my American Romanticism class today -- "aphorism." It's a short witty statement of profound thought or truth. I realized that aphorisms are the reasons why I love my favorite books, I just never knew what those perfect lines were called.

We read Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay, "Self-reliance," today in the above mentioned class. It was full of aphorisms. Some of my favorites are listed below:

"Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness."

". . .the asinine expression. . .I mean 'the foolish face of praise,' the forced smile which we put on in company where we do not feel at ease in answer to conversation which does not interest us."

"With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. . .Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today."

"To be great is to be misunderstood."

"Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing."

Blustery Day Today

Today reminded me of when I was a little kid and watched Winnie the Pooh. There was one part where the wind was bullying everything in the Hundred Acre Wood, especially Piglet because he was so small. One of the songs during this part said: "It looks like a rather blustery day, today," and indeed it was like that. Walking to class was difficult because my hair kept blowing in my face, so I couldn't see where I was going, and my car kept swerving because the wind wanted it to go in a different direction than I did. The Weather Channel said the wind speed was 18 mph. Whew, I hope it's not like that tomorrow. 

"Crystalised" by The XX

Sunday morning, rain is falling.

Today the weather was perfect: rainy and a little breezy. Okay, maybe not perfect if you wanted to mow the grass or take a hike through the woods, but it was my idea of perfect Sunday weather. I got to read and take the best nap ever. I went to church too, but that was inside, so the weather had no real bearing on how I approached the sermon.

What is it about coffee and chocolate that makes them the perfect combination?

Good rainy weather song --> "Blonde on Blonde" by Nada Surf

School? No thank you.

First week back to school? DONE. Now there's only 15 more to go! Actually, that is not a very cheery thought, now that I think of it. My brain is already exhausted, and my eyes have that scratchy feeling they get from not enough sleep. I think I'll go watch Fargo instead of doing homework.

New song! "White Blank Page" by Mumsford & Sons

"What is the grass?"

We're reading "Song of Myself" by Walt Whitman in my American Romanticism class. Some of it's repetitive, and I'll admit, boring to me. But then there are parts that grab my attention and completely absorb me into delicious reverie for their beauty and imagery. I love where he speaks of trying to explain to a child what grass is. My favorite line from that section is: "And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves." The parts where he talks about nature and the physical world are my favorite.

Whitman's poetry has a relaxed feel to it, but then there are parts that are graphic and grotesque: "The suicide sprawls on the bloody floor of the bedroom, It is so. . . . I witnessed the corpse. . . . there the pistol had fallen." The juxtaposition of beauty and ugliness is unnerving to read, and it gives the poem a random, disjointed feel to it.

But my favorite quote of all would have to be: "Dazzling and tremendous how quick the sunrise would kill me, If I could not now and always send sunrise out of me." I think I'll paint it on my wall, in addition to the Jonathan Safran Foer quote. Do you think the two authors would object to their works being mingled in such a fashion?

Still Writing

I finally picked a topic for my newspaper article -- Coffee and the College Student. That's what it started out as, anyways, but I may change it to tea and coffee. I interviewed several people at the coffee shop on campus that I frequent, and it's amazing how much of a social mechanism coffee has become, not just something a person drinks because they like the taste or the caffeine effects. Hopefully my first article, and the subsequent ones as well, won't be a total flop. It's a little nerve racking though, knowing that it's going to be read by so many people, including those that I know.

HELP

I have no idea what to write my first article on for the school newspaper. At least the Beatles understand my situation . . .

Isn't it beautiful?

I'm going to paint this on my wall:

"What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone's heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone's hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don't really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war."

Isn't it beautiful? The passage is from my favorite book, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.

Last Day of Sunshine

Today is the last real day of break before going back to school. I think I'll be lazy and watch BBC movies in bed. Perhaps I won't even take a shower. Ew. No, I'll take a shower.

My first staff meeting for the school newspaper is Monday from 10 - 12. Sooooo long. I wonder if I can skip it? Probably not. After it's over, I'm going to Southern Seasons to buy more coffee and then to UNC Chapel Hill to hang out w/ Hannah. It's going to be a good day.

BANG[s] and a Song

Yay! I finally got my hair cut after six months of being too lazy and/or poor to make an appointment. AND, I now have bangs. A guy at work said they made me look like a vampire. What? What the hell? I admit, this picture makes my skin look like I'm a vampire, but that's only because it was taken with my phone in bad lighting. And my nose has all but disappeared here, apparently.

Oh, and I have a new favorite song: Nada Surf's cover of The Pixies' song, "Where Is My Mind." Please listen to it.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

I just finished watching The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, a BBC miniseries based on the novel by Anne Bronte. The whole thing was painful to watch, and I felt so sorry for the heroine -- Helen Huntingdon. She was terribly abused--physically, emotionally, and psychologically--by her philandering alcoholic of an husband, Arthur. Her constancy to him despite his unworthiness was a little exasperating, though. I suppose it's a thing to be admired in her, but I kept thinking that if she'd hurry up and leave him, then she'd be free. In today's society, it would be so much easier to remove yourself from an abusive spouse, but in Britain's Victorian era it would've been quite different. Women were considered the property of their husbands, and the father held legal custody of any children from the marriage, should it end. Because Helen had a son (also named Arthur), she felt trapped and was unable to break free from her husband until he passed away from an illness caused by his self-indulgent habits. 
It never ceases to amaze me that, as sheltered and secluded as the Bronte sisters were, they could produce such timeless literary classics as they did. I wonder what the effect on their work would've been, if their circumstances had been different. Would it have improved or hindered their gifts as writers?

LAST WEEK OF FREEDOM

Next Tuesday, I will sadly relinquish the right to sleep in and drag myself to class. Ungood. Even though winter break lasted a month and a half, it doesn't feel anywhere near long enough. At least I did almost everything on my to-do list for Break:

1) Read at least 3 books --> I'm on the last one now (Alice's Adventures In Wonderland)

2) Make a quilt for Quilts for Kids --> it was a cute, 9-patch, pink and brown one

3) Re-paint my bathroom --> it was blue and is now a burnt orange (it's prettier than it sounds)

4) Make gingerbread men --> I remembered to put the ginger in them this time

5) Become a Zen master --> I bought two books and am practicing my meditation skills

6) Clean my room --> it is no longer gross :)

7) Invent a new color --> unfortunately, they've all been invented by now. . .as far as I know

8) Write a letter to the Queen of England --> she has yet to respond

9) Be able to distinguish every flavor of Jelly Belly jelly beans while blindfolded --> done

10) Take a road trip --> Hannah and I spent a very cold but amazing day in Asheville

Whisper Words of Wisdom

Today I hung out with my Aunt Donna, like we've been doing once a week since winter break started. One of my friends described her as being "like a cup of chai tea," and I think she was right. Aunt Donna is warm, sweet, and comforting, but she has a spicy side too. Today we were in the kitchen waiting for dinner to cook, and she started looking up old music from the '70s that she loved -- particularly a band called Bread. That segued into other types of music that we both enjoy, and we realized that we share a mutual appreciation for black choirs. I love the richness of their harmony and the passion that emanates from the words they sing. The emotion is beautiful. One of my favorites is the song "Let It Be" from the movie Across the Universe.

Spellbound

I realized what the most satisfying part about reading a book is: when you reach the point where you can't put that damn book down.
You begin, say, and you're reading along -- not not enjoying it, but it's a "whatever" feeling. Then, BAM! You realize that your eyes are glued to the page, 30 minutes have gone by since you were last conscious of yourself breathing, and you can't think of anything you'd rather be doing than curling up on your bed and shutting out the world while you finish one of the best works of literature known to mankind. It could be a certain event that happens in the book that grabs your attention, a clever thought brilliantly phrased, or perhaps a gradual shift in your perspective of what you're reading. Whatever it is, it's a revelation, an epiphany, a feeling that you can't fake and is worth pursuing (no matter how long it takes you to find a written work worthy of your efforts).