Lights, All Is Light

I'm sitting on my bed in my room, and it's glowing with a thousand small, flickering lights. It reminds me of the narrator in the book Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. He lives underground, but his compartment is full of light. 1,369 lights, to be exact, "Light confirms my reality, gives birth to my form." Even though he recognized his social invisibility, he realized that, "Without light, I am not only invisible, but formless as well; and to be unaware of one's form is to live a death." Light illuminates and separates. It gives contour and embodiment to all things and sets them apart from each other, just as the lights in my room separate me from my books, my bed, my clothes. I am not them, I am me. I am a product of light.

Ah, the Eggnog

Christmas this year was pretty cool. I got a lot of the things I asked for, and my family got along peaceably, for the most part. My grandmother still interrupted everyone when they were halfway through a sentence, but that's pretty normal and we're all used to it. But the one thing that did not go well was something I've been looking forward to all year -- Uncle Bob's eggnog. We had passed the point of dessert and were playing "20 Questions" around the kitchen table. It was as if a ray of light shown from the sky when Uncle Bob brought out the mixer and began to make his secret, alcohol-infused, nectar of the gods. My mouth watered, and I nearly tripped on my way, cup outstretched, to hover over his shoulder till he was done. He gave me a good-sized scoop of the frothy liquid, and I greedily took my cup back to my seat at the table and took my first sip. It was creamy and delicious -- then I swallowed. A wave of nausea washed over me as I had a flashback to this year's Halloween. The aftertaste of the eggnog reminded me of the vodka I had consumed in copious amounts and spent the next day and a half recovering from. Even now, two months later, the taste of liquor makes me [almost] violently sick. I nearly cried as I pushed the best part of Christmas away from me and towards my cousin (who had already drained one cup). Then I retreated to the living room for the rest of the night to sulk and watch one of the most boring pastimes known to English majors--an MBA basketball game. At least I won the game of 20 Questions. I was Genghis Khan. 

BEWARE: CRAZED XMAS SHOPPERS

Christmas shoppers are vicious. Don't let the Santa sweaters and cheery atmosphere of shopping centers fool you. Today I made the mistake of going last-minute shopping, and my car was nearly hit at least 3 times whilst trying to find a parking spot. I had to wait behind that one annoying car that HAS to have a close parking spot so they sit in the middle of the road for 5 minutes with their turn signal on, waiting for an already-parked car to leave. Then, when I was getting ready to leave the over-crowded store, a very serious shopper wearing "mom jeans" almost ran me over with her shopping cart because she didn't want me to get in front of her in the check-out line (even though I had three times less the amount of merchandise that she had). Thank heavens I'm finally done with my shopping. Now all I have to do is sit on the couch, drink coffee, and eat gingerbread men until Christmas gets here.

"The stars, the moon, they've all been blown out"

My new favorite song is "Cosmic Love" by Florence and the Machine. It sounds like the universe, if celestial bodies could sing. 

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes

I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The Songs That We Sing

Do certain songs remind you of a particular person, event, season, or time in your life? It happens to me all the time. It's like the songs tell the story of my life, but only I know what they represent or how to interpret them. They are a diary that doesn't need a lock or key. It's winter now, around Christmas time, and these are the bands I'm currently listening to: Iron&Wine, Interpol, Mew, Florence and the Machine, and Matt Costa. Every time I listen to them, they develop new significance, and it's like a new page is written in the diary of my life.

Snow Monster

Every child's winter fantasy came true yesterday. . . IT SNOWED. Exciting, yes? Snow is so sparkly and soft, and it makes that great crunchy/squeaky sound when you step on it. But yesterday, its timing was just terrible.

I thought I'd make an attempt at being healthy (since I'm on winter break from school, and I have no excuse not to), so I went running. One mile into it, I got caught in the blizzard. Then I had to trek through the blinding whiteness all the way back to my house, a mile away, against the way the snow was blowing. Also, I was wearing glasses, so I had to keep wiping the wet off them so I wouldn't run into an unsuspecting mailbox, tree, or perhaps car. When I finally got back to the house, I had to resuscitate my poor ipod, who's not used to the frigid winter climate of North Carolina. Then I had to save my nose,  because I couldn't feel it. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be exercising outside anytime soon. Or ever. . .

Ye Olde Piece of Shit

Today I was awakened by the musical sound of my brother's car's horn going off. His car is a bit of a clunker, and the horn randomly decides to make itself heard (usually in the wee hours of the morning), and it doesn't stop until someone manually shakes the steering wheel for a good ten seconds. But I don't even care, cos it's supposed to snow today!

Weird Dream

I had the weirdest dream last night. It was like a Pride & Prejudice, Legends of the Fall, and a Cuban drug run hybrid. Where did that come from? If my subconscious was trying to tell me something, it sadly missed the mark. Where do dreams come from anyways? Ok, I WAS thinking about Pride & Prejudice a little bit yesterday, but I was most certainly not thinking anything about Cuban drug runs or Legends of the Fall. Is my psyche telling me I have a future in drug trafficking or a twisted romance in the backwoods of Montana?

At least it wasn't the dream I had last week after I watched the movie 28 Days Later. I'm NEVER making that mistake again. In my dream I was running through the English countryside at break-neck speed, and I couldn't tell what I was running from, but I knew I couldn't stop and I was very scared. Jim (from the movie) wasn't even in there--what a ripoff.

This was my day today, and it was beautiful:

Oh the Questions

Why do hands get wrinkly after they've been in water too long?

Why does soap always lather white even if it was originally a bright color?

If you can be "overwhelmed" and "underwhelmed," can you ever be just "whelmed"? 

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

How are the personality traits of the zodiac signs determined?

Do people yawn while they're asleep?

Why are round pizzas served in square boxes?

Coffee, Books, and a Muffin

Studies have shown that people feel more congenial with a hot drink in their hands. I totally, 100% agree. Give me a cup of coffee, and I'll be happy for the rest of the day. . .not to mention a bit hyper. Add a pumpkin muffin and a good book on the side, and I'll be set for life.

SCHOOL IS OVER. . . until January

Winter Break is here, and I've made a list of to-do things:

1) Read at least 3 books

2) Make a quilt for Quilts for Kids

3) Re-paint my bathroom

4) Make gingerbread men

5) Become a Zen master

6) Clean my room (it's pretty gross)

7) Invent a new color

8) Write a letter to the Queen (or some other such boring famous person)

9) Be able to distinguish every flavor of Jelly Belly jelly beans while blindfolded

10) Take a road trip

I think they're pretty reasonable expectations for a 1 1/2 month break.

Spotted: the Perfect Man

Today I was on the Park&Ride, headed back to my car after the longest Italian exam EVER. I don't usually ride the bus that late (5:45ish P.M.), but it's Finals week at UNCG, and class times are all messed up. There were about five people on the bus after the last stop, and one of them happened to be the most perfect man I've ever encountered. He was Academia in human form, and I almost went over to ask him to impart on me some words of wisdom, and perhaps a marriage proposal. But alas, I had to satisfy myself with taking a picture using my extremely loud (and a bit embarrassing) camera phone.

Poly--graph

Some of the most interesting conversations happen in coffee shops. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have coffee at Tate St. Coffee with my friends Lauren, Missy, and [sometimes] Caroline. Today the main topic of our discussion was polyamorous relationships (having full-on relationships with multiple people at one time). I've included the diagram Lauren drew to illustrate the particular people she was talking about. Let me explain: person M is dating person C, and they live together (person M is the only male in this instance). Person C is also dating person L (who happens to be my T.A. in one of the classes I'm taking this semester). Person L is dating persons C and A but NOT person M. Person A is dating persons L and "?". And finally, person "?" is dating persons A and "??". To add a twist, person "??" does not know that "?" is dating A. It's very confusing, and I wouldn't be surprised if these types of relationships are prone to STD's.

Winter Clothes

I love cold weather. The air smells so clean and fresh, colors seem sharper, and I don't have to worry about my hair frizzing because of the humidity. But the one downside of it, is that it takes FOREVER to put on all the clothes needed to go outdoors. It's especially annoying when I have to change buildings between classes. Coat, gloves, scarf, [optional] hat, and possibly some boots. I take long enough getting ready as it is, without the added encumbrance of so many clothes. Sometimes I feel like the younger brother in A Christmas Story who wears the snow suit and complains, "I can't put my arms down!"